There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
You've changed since you got that strap on
Randomize
