I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize