Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
