Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
My feet surprised me
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
