I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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