My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
