Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
