So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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