he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
