All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
