Whod you bang
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
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