Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
