I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
