at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
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