Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
