Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
