2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
