I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
