I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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