It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
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