Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
