we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
i came on her dog
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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