she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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