We're like a lot better than the average bears
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
