just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
