Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
