You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
