Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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