Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
