Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Randomize
