No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I'm always down for nudity.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
