I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
It's blow job season.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
