I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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