He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
