apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
