While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize