Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
vagina is talking i cant
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Randomize
