Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize