Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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