she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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