So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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