thus making me awesome and them whores
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
