My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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