That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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