nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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