we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
