I want you more than these girls want KFC
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
how drunk are you?
Several
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
