Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
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