Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Four minutes until I can fart!
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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