I bet he comes in French.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
