Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
