I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
