I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
