I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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