it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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