Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I think your dad took our porno
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Randomize
