it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
