i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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