I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
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