..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
