If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
