I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
