Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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