So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
