how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
