try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
