I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
