hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
