There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
