Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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