i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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