As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
