Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
