My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
