I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
